spiritedcafe:

Http://www.instagram.com/p/adkilqqbhv

fuckyeah2000s:

theirisianprincess:

captainsnoop:

donate to my kickstarter so i can build a time machine and

1. get julius caesar addicted to hentai
   
2. seduce cleopatra

“oh but how will you seduce cleopatra?” you might ask because you’re a moron. it’s simple: i’m 6′2″ and i’m fat. fatness was considered attractive back then because if you were fat, that meant you were wealthy enough to get fat. plus, 6′2″ is unreasonably gigantically tall in the BC times. 

so cleopatra will be like “a giant? AND he’s got stretch marks?” and she’ll instantly become infatuated with my rotund, hairy body 

then i will live in royalty for the rest of my days. kickstarter backers will have their names written in my tomb, baffling archaeologists for centuries to come. 

My favorite part of this is that OP didn’t feel the need to explain how he’d get Julius Caesar addicted to hentai.

marcelduchampsfountain:

marcelduchampsfountain:

people confusedly talking to corporations on the internet is the most prime comedy honestly

grandtheftalto:

Since it’s National Coming Out Day, I’d like to take the time to formally announce that I’m coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine gotta gotta be down because I want it all it started out with a kiss how did it end up like this it was only a kiss it was only a kiss